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[lambencies]

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Alicent Hightower

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slendy death day

[rehandle]

Are you alright

[ It goes out to all of them, instinct, in the closing instant of the eternity of awful crystalline silence between the severing and whatever comes next. He's not expecting an answer from all of them, knows logically there are a few who won't be able to respond - not instantly, if at all. But he asks because he has to know. Because if he doesn't ask now he might ask never, and he can't have that. He can't. ]

[lambencies]

[ before she barely knew him and then suddenly she would have died for him. where does that leave them now? it's hard to say and there is so much to consider. her reply comes soon after a short moment. she's desperate to escape her solitude and the unnerving (and blessed) silence. ]

I could ask you the same thing, Doctor.

We have done unspeakable things.

[rehandle]

[ There are things for Stephen to contend with in the immediate moment. Beyond the deafening quiet in his head, the outside world has demands of him. But when she answers, he sections off a little corner of his thoughts to stay with her. Reach for her.

God knows there's enough room now.

Still, distracted as he is, the immediate response is quietly violent - ]

Don't.

[ He can't, not right this second. Not in the stretching minutes before reality has fully caught up with him, not while he's still trying to extricate himself from the demands he's hooked into himself with past actions when all he wants to do is be gone. ]

I'm sorry. Soon. [ Soon the things they've done will be all he has left to think about. They can hate themselves in company then. ] Are you safe?

[lambencies]

[ she knows how it is, but the guilt is too raw to ignore. perhaps later she can force it down and continue living, but not yet. however, she's polite enough not to bother Strange with it. ]

Yes. I have my son with me.

[ Aemond never left their side. no matter what they did to him. she feels overwhelmed just thinking about it. but she's safe. safer than she has any right to be. ]

What happened? Are you hurt? Who...

[ who was strong enough to bring an end to this? ]

cw: wound mentions

[rehandle]

[ It's a relief. One weight off an overburdened back to know she has someone with her. ]

I'm fine. [ He's not. Fingers missing, fresh burns spattered over bared skin. It's nothing she can do anything about, so he doesn't trouble her with it. ] I don't know exactly. Aristaeus took Danny Johnson out with him, I assume there were also more of them. I was going in pursuit, but I was intercepted.

[ And thank god for that. Who knows how many others might be dead if he hadn't been, though the telepaths out there may have been able to put an end to the threat of him if Wanda herself hadn't already. ]

I'm not sure how long it'll be until I'm available, but if there's anything you need.

[ He doesn't finish the thought, but he hopes the meaning is clear enough anyway. ]

[lambencies]

[ none of them are fine and they'll keep asking each other the same question like it meant something. she audibly scoffs to herself. a sad, broken little huff. ]

We owe him our thanks. All of them.

Where are you going?

[ she has the right to ask now. ]

[rehandle]

John's.

[ It needs some context, given everything. ]

I killed him. Trapped him. I'm going to let him out.

After that I don't know. I can let you know when I do.

[lambencies]

[ it takes her a moment to reply. ]

I would appreciate that.

May I ask you something?

[rehandle]

Yes.

[lambencies]

Have you ever... Do you know what form you might take if you were to transform?

[ a man capable of immobilizing a god – he must be as dangerous as Murphy or worse. ]

[rehandle]

[ Ah. ]

I've come close. Something clawing at me from the inside with what felt like blunt fingers. Too many. I leak a fluid that interferes with the nervous response of anyone it enters, causes their body to misremember itself, feel differently. [ Function differently. Nami has almost died. ] It blinded me eventually. Started crawling up my throat.

I don't know what it'll be when it emerges, but I intend to do everything in my power not to find out.

[lambencies]

[ thank you for the nightmares. ]

I trust you will, but it isn't always within our power to do so, Stephen. As you well know.

You should not be alone, not at a time like this.

[ or any other. gods. the potential of the damage he could have done earlier is slowly hitting her. ]

cw: death wish

[rehandle]

[ She's right. She's right and he - honestly, hadn't even let it enter his thoughts. If there were ever a time for a sudden transformation... ]

I'll try to make arrangements.

[ When he's done with John. If John doesn't do them all a favour and strike him down before he can leave the property. ]

Thank you, Alicent. You're right.

[lambencies]

Trying is not good enough. Promise me, Stephen.

Do you have a room at the boarding house? Do you share it with anyone?

[ this is rude, she knows, but preparations must be done. and she's desperate to help. if yelling at him will make any sort of difference, she has to do it. ]

[rehandle]

[ It's the only thing she could ask that he can't promise. The only people he wants to be around are those of them who already understand, and even then it feels too soon. ]

I do, but I won't be going there.

[lambencies]

Stephen.

This town cannot handle another monster so soon. Not another monster like him.

[rehandle]

I know.

It'll be alright. I don't think that was a regular transformation. I'll make sure to reach out to someone if I sense a risk.

[lambencies]

At least give me their name.

[ so she knows who to call if the worst comes to the worst. ]

[rehandle]

I don't have a list, Alicent, I -

[ Almost everyone he cares for he's fucked over. Who is he supposed to call without inflicting his pain on the very people whose pain he's inflicted? ]

Wanda's the only person here who can contain me as I am. If it's too late for one of us to help [ One of us, she'll know who he means but he's going to have to get himself out of that habit - ] she's the final resort.

[lambencies]

[ Wanda? of course. ]

I would prefer if it didn't come down to the final resort.

And so would you.

[rehandle]

[ God. Fuck.

Fine. ]

Kovacs.

[ If the worst comes to the worst. ]

[lambencies]

[ so he's on Strange's list. surprising, but it does make sense. Alicent's relieved. ]

He will do what must be done.

[rehandle]

[ Too raw to watch his tone - ]

Fucking me's never sounded like quite so grim a fate. [ But there's no point in snapping at her. It not her he's angry with. ] I'm going to go now. I'll let you know when I know where I'll be. If you don't hear from me, I'll see you next month.

[ That's cruel, but he's feeling too much at once to regulate now. And it's not completely outside of the realm of possibility that he's going to die within the hour, so. ]

[lambencies]

[ it's fine, she speaks cruel fluently. ]

I thought you were too intelligent to fall victim to self-pity, Stephen.

If I don't hear from you, I will see to it personally that the Duchess never releases you from her castle.

[rehandle]

I do not have a say in whether or not John Gaius sees fit to end my life, Alicent. I don't have any designs on losing it, but I will not leave him there, and some things are outside of my control.